The Cosmic Witch & Priestess of Cuda

Witch & Goddess Training, Beginner to Priestess

Cord Cutting Ritual

Getting over a breakup is one of the hardest things we will ever do. In some ways it is as painful as bereavement, even more so. When someone dies they have no choice about leaving us, but in a breakup they choose to leave, and that’s a painful truth to bear.

Of course, it depends on other factors, like how long you were together, the circumstances of the split, whether there are issues like children, money and property to sort, but don’t tell me that having your heart ripped out and stamped on isn’t a life changing experience.

The pain we feel is visible on a brain scan and is shown to affect us physiologically too. It bumps up our blood pressure, weakens our adrenal glands and literally hurts our heart. Some people literally never recover, but that isn’t going to happen to you, you badass witch! You have work to do and a life to live, and it isn’t going to be wrapped around the decisions of someone else.

But how on earth are you going to move forward? How are you going to fill this emptiness, or prevent yourself from making a fool of yourself by begging, calling, and generally making a nuisance of yourself? Trust me; nothing will strip away your self-esteem quicker in their eyes, and more importantly, in your own.

There is a little trick that witches use, however, and it’s called Cord Cutting. Cord Cutting is a fairly simple ritual that helps you sever the cord that connects you to the pain. It’s a form of banishment, but instead of a person or spirit, it is directed at your emotional pain, removing you from it and sending it away.

Cord Cutting does not harm anyone, does not try and interfere with your ex’s free will, and won’t cause you to hate or forget your ex if you don’t want to. It can help you let go, move on, even meet someone new. And it doesn’t prevent you reuniting with your ex if it’s meant to be. If you think of the painful connection you have to your ex as toxic energetic bonds that are hurting you, it simply a method of cutting those bonds and freeing you from all the angst.

Although most witches use Cord Cutting to move on from some kind of romantic or family relationship, it can also be utilised for other things you want to let go – habits, addictions, phobias and fears.

Some witches advocate using a Cord Cutting ritual if you want to rekindle the passion in a relationship or make it more loving. The idea is to cut away from the toxic past and begin again, but I don’t recommend this. A successful Cord Cutting inevitably causes you both to move forward separately, not together. If you are interested in ritual to rekindle the romance, keep an eye on this page.

Cord Cutting takes guts. Sometimes our pain is all we have left of the relationship and leaving it behind can feel scary, like we are cut adrift. It also takes time. Don’t expect immediate results. But it certainly kick-starts the healing process and almost without realising it you find your life has taken a new and happier turn.

It’s also important for another reason: you don’t want to be attracting another partner from a vibrational frequency that signifies pain and sadness. Like and attracts like, so get your vibration high again and heal those wounds so that someone comes along who is not also wallowing in sorrow and negativity.

Some witches simply visualise cutting the cord – sending love and thanks to their ex or the other party if they want to – then picture cutting the cord and the sorrow dissolving away. This should take at least 15 – 20 minutes.

But it helps to cut actual cords too, so that your unconscious mind (that communicates in pictures and symbols) witnesses and understands what event has taken place. This is one of the main reasons we use tools at all. The other reasons are that it follows ancient traditions, and it’s fun.

It doesn’t matter too much when you undertake a Cord Cutting ritual, and heartbreak doesn’t wait for the right moon phase, but if you can time it to coincide with the events below, it will add extra oomph to the ritual and give it more potency.

The Best Time to Perform: Saturday during the waning moon phase. Equipment: Candle: Not a tea light but a proper candle, any colour. Herbs: Fresh or dried bitter herbs, parsley, mugwort, dandelion. Incense: Any will do but preferably frankincense, patchouli, myrrh. Yarn: A couple of metres of string, yarn or wool, any colour. Other: Scissors, fire-proof container/small cauldron

1. Regardless of the weather, perform this ritual outside or open windows wide. You want to create a route out of the house for the sorrowful energy you will be shedding. Do this ritual barefoot.

2. Light the incense and then do a brief cleansing or your room or space by one of the following methods - clapping three times into each corner, burning your preferred cleansing herb, or cleansing with the sound of a singing bowl, cymbal or bell.

3. Light the candle and stare into the flame for a few minutes while finding your centre and grounding yourself. If you don’t know how to ground, picture energetic roots growing out of you and sinking into the floor and right down into the earth. Imagine yourself rooted, solid and sturdy like a tree. Picture yourself strong and firm among all the other trees on the planet. Imagine a red protective light surrounding you.

4. Now take some time to focus on what you want to release; what your want to uncouple from. Put it into words (in the present tense) and say it aloud: “I release myself from these feelings of pain and heartache over (name).” Repeat three times.

5. Now take the yarn and bind your feet together. Say aloud: “These are the bonds that cause me pain and prevent me moving forward in my life.”

6. Then loosely bind your wrists with the yarn. Say aloud: "These are the bonds that bring me heartache and prevent from receiving happiness."

7. Force yourself to sit for a while and really feel the pain. Allow yourself to really feel the hurt and upset you have been experiencing, and as you do so, picture it being absorbed into the bonds that hold you.

8. When you feel ready, take the scissor and cut the cords on your feet and hands repeating at least three times: “I sever the ties that bring me pain and move forward into light and freedom.”

9. Light more incense and waft the smoke around your body to seal your aura. As you do so, imagine yourself filling with positivity, happiness, excitement for the future and all the good things you want for yourself.

10. Burn the yarn and take the ashes away from your property. Bury them, sprinkle them somewhere away from others or let the wind take them. It is done. Now you have an energetic vacuum so perform the self-love ritual beneath directly afterwards.

Uncrossing & Self-Love Ritual

The Bath Uncrossing is a simple but effective form of folk magic, often underestimated. The term uncrossing comes from the afro-Caribbean traditions of Obeah and Hoodoo, and possibly others. Unless this is part of our culture, it means you are “borrowing” from it and although I pass this freely to you, please take a moment during the ritual to honour these traditions and commit to being supportive of them in future, particularly not to buy-in to the stigma of “black magic” that surrounds them. 

An Uncrossing unties a problem which is known to be “crossed”. It unravels it so that the obstacle is removed and the way ahead becomes clear. It’s important that a crossed condition is released and does not store stagnant or negative energy.

A crossed condition may have been caused by a curse, hex, stressful situation or illness. The problem may have been hanging round for a long time and feel entrenched and nothing has managed to shift it. Encountering a problem repeatedly may have lowered your self-esteem and you may have formed a negative opinion about your ability, so even if it wasn’t an actual curse or hex, it can feel like one. In effect, you have created your own curse.

There are several methods of uncrossing, but one of the most popular is an uncrossing bath. It symbolically removes the physical dirt from your skin and hair, and in doing so, also removes energetic impurities.

Ritual uncrossing baths should be repeated on consecutive days (usually 3, 7, 9 or 13 days) depending on the severity of the problem. If you are looking for a significant shift, I suggest doing it for the full 13 days, taking a break for a month and repeating.

The number and combination of ingredients depends on the problem, but it’s usually 3,7,9 or 13 ingredients. There are many different recipes for uncrossing baths but it is most effective if you use your own choice of herbs and other ingredients such as salts, flowers, oils, even crystals.

• Agrimony is a herb known for its power in removing curses and hexes.

• Basil is a cleansing herb that also helps with money problems.

• Black Coffee is a powerful ingredient to help with exhaustion or debilitating illness

• Chamomile has the ability to soothe an embarrassing or stressful situation

• Dandelion can filter out negative people from your life • Dill can help with problem in your love life.

• Eucalyptus is a herb that cleanses and removes negativity or toxic people.

• Hyssop can remove guilt or shame that is weighing you down.

• Lavender can help with all kinds of emotional problems, especially anxiety.

• Lemon can remove unwanted situations and people that are holding you back.

• Mint can unblock bad luck and bring good fortune into your life. • Nettle can help bring you the strength and confidence to deal with a tricky situation.

• Patchouli enhances the power of whatever ingredients you are using.

• Rose can remove problems in your love or sex life.

• Rosemary is a protective and cleansing herb that can remove negative thoughts that are weighing you down.

• Rue is known as a powerful protector against evil or toxicity. • Sage can break a run of poor performance in work or exams.

• Sea Salt will round your magic and should be used in all uncrossing baths.

• Vinegar is a strong cleanser that can assist the emotional trauma following physical or sexual abuse.

When you have selected your herbs and other ingredients, here is how you perform a Ritual Uncrossing Bath:

1. Put a large pan of water on the hob – enough for three jugs or bowlfuls.

2. Take the first of your ingredients in your hands. Talk to it and ask it to help remove the crossed condition in your life. Thank it for its help and add it to the water. Repeat for all the ingredients.

3. Bring to the boil and simmer your ingredients gently for 10 – 15 minutes.

4. Strain the ingredients and let the mixture cool.

5. Take a bath like you normally do.

6. Once you’re physically clean, light two candles (one on either side of your bathtub or shower).

7. Take the mixture and pour it over your head, asking from your heart for your crossed condition to be removed. You can directly address a deity if you wish.

8. If it’s warm enough, allow yourself to air dry when you step out of the bath. Blow out the candles, but on the last day, allow them to burn down completely. Make sure they are safe.

9. Lie down for a while. Close your eyes and call in the positive energy or situation you would like to fill the vacuum created by losing the negativity that was stuck to you.

The Self-Love Ritual

For this ritual you will need a piece of rose quartz and a blanket (your duvet will do). You also need a small piece of cloth like a handkerchief or scarf, black if possible but don’t worry if you don’t have black. It is helpful to have some incense burning. Leave the window open slightly to release the negative energy outside and away from you.

1. After your Uncrossing bath, when you are dry and have relaxed for a bit, take the rose quartz and your blanket or duvet and lie on your back. Place the quartz on your solar plexus, which is in the centre of your abdomen just beneath your rib cage. In this space we hold on to anxiety, fear and other negative emotions. Imagine all of this emotion being absorbed into the quartz; literally leaving your body and pouring into the quartz. Say aloud: “I love myself unconditionally. I release fear. I am not afraid to move forward in my life.”

2. Next, move the quartz to your heart space, which is on your chest and slightly to the left. In this space we hold on to heartache, pain and sadness. Picture these emotions leaving your body and being absorbed into the crystal. Say aloud: “I love myself unconditionally. I release pain. I am open to new loves and adventures.”

3. Next, move the quartz to your forehead, your third eye space. In this area we create barriers and reasons why we can’t achieve something. Imagine all of your doubts and reasons why you can’t be happy leaving your mind and being absorbed into the crystal. Say aloud: “I love myself unconditionally. I release doubts and barriers. I am ready to live a happy life.”

4. When you feel ready, wrap the quartz in the cloth, snuggle down under your blanket and duvet and relax, have a nap or read for a while. Night time is a good time to perform this ritual and then you can simply fall asleep until the next morning.

5. When you get up, take the rose quartz and rinse it under the cold tap for a couple of minutes. Make sure the water is as cold as possible. Picture all of that negative energy going down the plughole with the water. Then put the cloth in the dirty washing basket or dispose of it. Place the crystal in the freezer for 24 hours to cleanse and refresh it and make sure it is not holding on to any negative energy.

6. Go and live your life. It will take time and there will be difficult days, but keep in mind how much you love and care for yourself, and know you are ready to meet your future. And make your future bright and beautiful. Blessings to you.